Happy Birthday Captain Rex (aka Felix)

My boy turned 5 years old last Friday and his party was held on Sunday at our local park.

It was 15 kids (his friends and their siblings) a Star Wars (clone wars theme) a white chocolate mud (captain rex) cake, food, some games and sports and party bags.

As I dont get to see him interact with his school friends it was wonderful, I really felt like a headless chook most of the day (give me a small cluster anyday) but I really do feel it was worthwhile and everyone seemed to have fun. It does really amazing me how other working parents manage this ? I think my household organisation skills leave alot to be desired...

I think every year I swear not to do the party and each year he's had one of some kind (except his first year I think we just did close family and friends) but seriously when its all over and you have the smiles and photos to look at, then you must dull the memory of the preparation and the energy expense...

I get pretty tired of writing how full on life is, but recently it really just has seemed to reach epic proportions, we have been looking to buy a house, work is negotiating a new contract with me and to be honest the dangle of more money is extremely attractive, but the stress gets higher and leaves you wondering some days..why on earth am I doing this? I think my main problem is I dive into things and take on more and more on myself till I reach the point of saturation and then try to come up gasping for air..

Anyhow I've said it before I am not a good life balancer..I do feel that I try though, if I could describe my life at the moment , it would be..I am *trying hard* at everything in life..trying to be a good parent, trying to be a good partner, trying to be good at my job, trying to be good at managing a household and trying to be a good friend..I think several of these are managable, others have their days and some like managing the house I down right suck at...things like more money might buy me a housecleaner, then thats balance huh? lol...one balances the other.

Goal one: Stamina

This is what jumping on your new trampoline looks like at 6:30 in the morning, something tells me this was a good investment...

and he's not the only one having fun...

An update on us..

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I posted about Easter, it seems like a lifetime ago already, life is crazy and forever changing fortunately alot of good this time!


The Easter school holidays being the first for the boys was spent with Grandparents, for Felix it was a deliberate choice to make sure he didn't have to go to Vacation Care as he clearly needed a rest..

Felix and Oma reading Uno's Garden

I had 8 days away from him (except for one night when Mum brought him up to stay with us) and it was strange but I did realise how much we jam into a school day both he and I, it was quite a shock be able to get out of bed and into the shower and be at work by 7:30 am.. it is definitely easier than being working mum, getting a prep child ready for school... just looking after myself and while I missed him like crazy, I did appreciate the change of pace ...


His energy levels after the holiday have been much better, and we are starting to get to the bottom of the reasons for it, but step by step..


Monday (pupil free Day) was a physiotherapy assessment as the school is concerned with his muscle tone, he has very low tone in his over all muscles and gets excessively tired at school, he is behind is ages with balance, gross and fine motor skills and when he gets tired then he cannot cope with paying attention. This at present seems to be what is causing him the issues..


The Physio has given us 5 goals to work on:

1. Stamina increase
2. Coordination Increase
3. Muscle tone increase
4. Sitting in Class
5. Arm strength (fine motor skills)

We will have a session with her once a month and work on a program and reassess how he goes every month.

The first month we have been asked to buy a Trampoline (guess what he has for his birthday- pics to come) for stamina increasing (which I said was my first goal) and ball play, and encourage lots of running and swimming, basically as much physical as we can. Given her assessment of of low muscle tone, she said it is even more important for him to build these up to get through the day , it is obviously important for all children to be healthy and strong, but for Felix he needs it just to be able to do what his peers are....


I bought the Trampoline last week with him and it was delivered Friday, Mr G, L and I put it together and I realised what a great investment for all of us it is. I think Mr G and I had forgotten how cool jumping is..and such great exercise, i was surprised..L also thinks it is a fabulous investment and so great for the whole family..

We also had the ENT (Otolaryngologists ) specialist appointment which lead to the extraction of 2 very substantial ear wax plugs from each ear..so hellooo hearing! Felix was an absolute champ during the procedure (the GP wouldn't do it as the wax was very far down and I had spend weeks trying to get it out with wax solve) he gripped my hand and was extremely brave..

He has also suggested the removing his Tonsils and Adnoids would be of use and we are booked for extraction in July, I am still not sure it is vital, I am going to monitor his sleep patterns to gain a better picture of what is happening for him.....snoring and breath holding are something I have seen him do and given the reports from parents who say this procedure has very much improved their children's sleep and then energy levels/ behaviour..I am going to focus on the stamina building and see how we go..another reason for hesitation is the cost..$1500 out of pocket.. now if I think it is needed I will do it..but still on the fence a little....I think I'm going to try for a second opinion, I'm looking for a good GP in our area atm so hopefully might get someone a little more experienced than our current one..who is nice enough but seems extremely removed from everything I've been to him with..

So anyhow bit by bit we are getting some answers, the good news is with the hard stuff comes good stuff, knowing he isn't delayed comprehension wise is something I hold onto..though the Physio said if we don't get onto the physical delays we are going to wind up with one frustrated little boy come Grade 1...

Here I leave you with a day in the park on Brisbane Sunny Sunday with a Frisbee and 2 small boys..

What four days with not alot to do will create..

What qualifies for a good Easter?

1. Eat too much chocolate- check
2. Drink too much wine- check
3. Spend lots of time watching TV - check
4. Play cards and lose to a 5 year old- check
5. Sleeping in - check
6. Have family to stay and family over for lunch- check
7. fight like jedi knight with kids light sabres -check
8. Knit fast enough to finish something- check
9. Watch the rain- check
10. Feel sad that it is all over after 4 days and you must go back to work again- check

F comes home from his Dads tomorrow after a week away, there was definitely one person missing in all the fun..

Shadow Shot Sunday # 24- Tallebudgera Beach and water shadows..

Today was a perfect Queensland autumn day..and where else do you head but for the water..

after a beach lunch we took L down for a swim, this place Tallebudgera Creek has long been a favourite of mine, I think returning to some where on the Gold Coast I love, reminded me that it is really is a beautiful place...

These don't take too much explanation, Mr G and my underwater shadows..

Check out the colours below of the other parts of the beach, and there absolutely no retouching, that is the truest of colour...

For those who want the link again for the memory photo effect below..here it is.. just upload and save..

Surf over to Hey Harriet and check out the shadows

Finally some better news..

This week has been an up an down one, but ended on a high


The speech therapist did her assessment on Felix on Friday (she's observed hi last week) she rang me, apparently he scored a 106 from a potential 70-115, meaning she didn’t feel that there was any major need for concern from a speech perspective at this stage . She said the sounds (his teacher and were concerned about his ability to pronouce alot of words) he makes are still within a range of normal for his age, she did say his ability to process language and respond on a one on one was good, and apparently they test their sounds and their ability to be creative with the language .
She was very comprehensive in her questions and review of his medical history, she talked about the paediatrician he will be seeing ( she knew of him and siad she'd heard mixed reports) and what the plan involving in getting all his issues resolved.

I talked to her about the nasal sounds and she said she noticed that and that look at the tonsil side of things was something she had noticed and told me about a friend that has her children tonsils removed an that improved their sleep quality and then their development. It is something that the ENT(ear nose throat specialist) can look into. Everytime we see a doctor they comment how large his tonsils are...but no one has ever refered us, till I requested a awhile ago (only to wait 10 months still in the public system) so time to take matters into out own hands privately..

So they don’t think his speech is an issue (and hence affecting his ability to participate socially) given his age and the sounds he can’t pronounce given he is not 5 as yet( and the fact he really only started talking properly just over a year ago), she will keep in touch with the Teacher and see how he develops in this regard.

This week I picked him up early on Wednesday as well, and he was so happy and excited( as was I)..I hate hate hate, having him go to after school care atm. I wish I had an alternative. To make me feel top of the world another parent said to me"oh it's so wonderful to see you here today, we see Felix go off to afterschool care every day he must be so happy to have you pick him up.." I think she meant well..but seriously..I dont have that option right now...


He had his first school cross country on Friday, dressed in his Yellow house colours and he did so well. I stood in the crowd (luckily the race was at 9.00am so I was able to start work a little late and watch him) A woman in the crowd next to me said- at that tiny little one in the yellow shirt running (this was F) it'sreally strange how the other parents treat him ..like he's a fragile little thing..and he's far from it..




He was really excited despite the intial concern that everyone would be faster than him, he ended up about 8th (there were 2 behind him which he was pretty happy about..though I had to point out that it wasn't nice to mention you were faster than the kids how came last ..but he is male and four afterall)


So the week has been alot better, his behaviour at home has really improved this week, he is makeing friends and even though he has areas he is still struggling in , I feel like we are getting somewhere, ruling things out at least...

How we are travelling..

I realised today I still hadn't posted some photos of F and my Alex beach get away..

It was a important time for me, with all that has gone in our lives this past year I felt like I had lost the connection I always shared with F, sure we did things together still, but I really was struggling with what is going on for him and wondered how I missed it..I think thats what gets me the most.. how did I make myself believe everything was okay

These are a few taken up there and edited here..I love the old memory effect it gives, like collected newspapers..

The trip was a good thing for us, I relearnt some good stuff about my boy and thought hard about the other stuff...

F started speech therapy this week, so that a good step, he also seems to be enjoying school more..we went to see his old kindy on Monday..and we both cried as we left..I wish we were there again in alot of ways..because I knew he was okay there..everyone loved him and accepted him..but on the reverse side I am not sure the things school is discovering would have been picked up there...and despite the high expectations and F not coping very well, I realise how far he has come in 2 short months...

I have made some changes in our life, and realised that I was ignoring things for awhile..if someone said..he's fine I was more likely to listen than if someone said..I think there is a problem..

The good news is the larger opinion is that F has not have an intectual impairment, the rest no one is really willing to put a finger on until we can cover all areas..I cried myself to sleep last night again while Mr G held me..I feel still so lost and I want to curl up in a ball and not unwind..

I took him swimming at his school and saw for myself how far behind he is physically and socially, and how he reacts with his peers and teachers, and I also saw how much they all like him and support him..so bittersweet...I just wanted to take him home and wrap him in my arms and never let him go again..but thats not really going to help is it?

Of course I realise now that starting Prep perhaps was not the best move, there were many reasons why we did and it was something I was unsure about right from the start..

But we are here now and we will get there..so it seems the small things has a new meaning..

Shadow Shot Sunday # 23- the unexplained

This weeks shadow shot is very ambigious, and for today I am going to leave it unexplained.... There seems to be a lot in my life at the moment that is unexplained or beyond my understanding so I think it's quite apt....

I mentioned last week taking Felix away with me to the Sunshine Coast, and the stress of previous weeks, well the reasons continue but the good news is my coping skills are increasing bit by bit and thats helping alot..

Basically Felix is being reviewed for additional needs at the moment at his school, there is a school assigned to him and I have been talking with her and his teacher about what is going on for my boy.

They will observe him over the next few weeks and advise me of the outcome, this will basically be only the beginning while we all work out whether Felix has physical, intellectual or behavioural problems(or a combination of all). I took him to the GP today to get a referal for a new Peadiatrician (we haven't seen one regularly since moving from the Gold Coast) despite me going privately, we still have to wait 1 month for the Ear Nose and Throat specialist and 3 months for a private Peadrician appointment.

There is so much here that is a good thing, but for me I took alot of these investigations on board, there was so much guilt attached to not being there enough for him, losing touch with what was happening for him, and of course needing to work full time which meant he is exhausted everyday.

I have needed to let go alot of this and just focus on what can be done from now on, I realised I was beating myself up and wasting vital energy I could be using to deal with what I need to.

Anyhow I'm a bit late for SSS but I have great hopes for this week being a giant step forward.. Hope where ever you are in the world you are stepping forward too!

Shadow Shot Sunday # 22- sharks in the shadow..

Shark's under the shadow

Sharks above

F and I went up to the Sunshine Coast for a mini break, these sharks were taken from underneath in the tunnel of Underwater world

Shadow Shot Sunday # 21- Fossil Fossicking

Trilobite fossil the last of the trilobites died out over 250 million years ago

On Saturday we went to the local Gem Showby the North Brisbane Lapidary Club, Mr G has long been a gem and fossil show enthusist and has plenty of amazing things in his collection

We bought the boys the beginning of their own fossil collection, F's collections starting from the left are Fossilised fish; ammonite black, ammonite white, Spinosaurus tooth ; shark tooth fossil and trilobite fossil

Also found these great storage boxes at the cheap shop, and now they have the beginnings of their own fossil collection, nothing quite like owning box of things that date back hundreds of millions of years...bit like having a museum in your bedroom..

I'll admit I love this stuff, they also make some very cool shadows, due to the detail and subtle nature of the fossils I did a photoshop cutout to enphasise them. I think the results are pretty cool.

F hasn't seen these(having been at his dads this weekend) as yet but given his love for dinosaurs he is bound to be blown away about having his own dinosaur tooth..

This week has been a bit better for me, I found out a health concern is cleared up, got a rate increase at work, and had a wonderful friday night date night with Mr G..I'm starting to feel more human again..still plenty to get sorted out but I feel a bit hopeful..

Fossick your way over to Hey Harriet and check out those gorgeous Sunday shadows..